Push
by bluebird24
Summary: Life was unfair, especially when she was cruelly taken away from him and his world fell apart. LP
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This is pretty much my version of season 5. A little tidbit: after writing this fic, I had no idea what to call it. While re-reading the story, one of the chapters reminded me of Sarah McLachlan's song 'Push' and even more coincidently, it pretty much sums up this fic...so anyways that's where the title comes from.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. And song lyric at beginning of each chapter belong to Sarah McLachlan

* * *

**Chapter 1**

-_ Every time I look at you the world just melts away -  
_

"Hey, Karen."

Karen smiled at the curly blonde girl who entered the kitchen, "Peyton, hi. You're here early."

"Yeah, I just thought I could help you set up for the party." Peyton helped herself to a baby carrot from the vegetable tray Karen had just put together. 

"I would love your help, Peyton."

"By the way, thanks for throwing us the goodbye party."

"It's not a problem," Karen took a moment to smile at Peyton before continuing with her next task at hand, "It was Lucas's idea anyway. Besides it gives me one last chance to see all of you guys before you all head off for college. Could you pass the salt please?"

Peyton glanced over the counter top and picked up the salt container. "What are you making now?"

"My specialty, chocolate chip cookies. They're for tonight's party,"

"Oh, then I guess I should retract my help offer," laughed Peyton, quickly putting the salt down.

"What? Why's that?"

"I tried baking chocolate chip cookies for Lucas – twice actually. The first batch I nearly burned the house down and the second batch ended up being a little too salty. Who knew a dash meant just a pinch?" 

Karen chuckled. "Well this recipe is foolproof. If you'd like, I'll show it to you."

"I don't know, Karen. I think it might be safer if I stepped aside and just kept you company instead." 

"Oh don't be silly, Peyton. Although I enjoy your company, I think you'll be more helpful if you gave me a hand with Lucas's favorite cookies."

"Don't you think we should keep it that way?" joked Peyton.

"Oh come on, it's my grandma's secret recipe," Karen enticed. 

"Well, I do love secrets." Peyton chewed on her bottom lip. 

"And I've never told anyone."

"Really, now? Hmm…" Peyton was cracking.

"Not even Haley."

"Alright, I'm sold. What do I do?"

As the mother and teenager turned sugar, eggs, flour, salt, baking soda and chocolate chips into a mouth-watering dough, Peyton hung onto every word Karen instructed. It was a simple recipe but was too much for Peyton to remember. 

"So how many cups of sugar was that again?"

Karen smiled to herself as she divulged the secret she had committed to memory. "One and a half."

Peyton repeated the measurement to herself, trying to memorize it. "Ok. And how many eggs was that again?"

"Here," Karen wiped her hands clean from the sticky dough on a red checkered dishrag and pulled a pen and ordering pad out from apron pocket. 

She walked around the counter and sat down beside Peyton on the kitchen stool. It didn't take long for Peyton to realize that Karen was writing out the recipe for her with easy to follow instructions. Thankfully, Peyton smiled at Karen. 

Peyton had always looked up to Karen. Karen had subtly taken Peyton under her wing ever since they met for the first time when Lucas was in the hospital. There was something in Peyton that Karen saw, perhaps the same thing her son saw – a young girl who was troubled and lonely, but full of potential and greatness. It was the reason why Karen took the time to let Peyton know she was there for her; giving her words of advice; giving her hugs when she needed comfort; or simply reminding her that her mother was proud of her. It was also the reason why Karen offered her a position at Tric. Peyton didn't just have a special place in her son's heart, but in hers as well.

Hours later, the party was in full swing, but Peyton was no where to be seen in the café with her friends. Instead, she stepped onto the rooftop of Karen's cafe and closed the door behind her. It was dark and she could barely see a thing. Carefully she crept away from the door in search of her boyfriend, who was also missing from the party.

Five minutes earlier, both Lucas and Peyton were seen in the café hanging out with their friends for the last time before everyone headed off for college. Lucas was on one side of the room, stealing looks to his girlfriend while she talked and laughed with Brooke, Haley, Bevin and Rachel. When Peyton's eyes finally caught Lucas', she mischievously raised her right brow and grinned. Then without raising any suspicion from the chatting girls, she began playing with her earring. It was the sign he was waiting for practically the entire night.

Lucas smiled, knowing that Peyton was ready for a little break from the group. He casually excused himself from the card game. This time his excuse was to help his mom clean up the kitchen. 

"Take your time." Nathan quietly laughed as Lucas disappeared around the corner. 

About a minute later, Nathan shook his head knowingly as he watched Peyton disappear from the room after claiming she needed to use the restroom. 

"Lucas?" she whispered into the night. 

With a flick of the switch, Lucas lit up the rooftop. The perimeter was tangled with white Christmas lights, creating just the right amount of romantic lighting. Peyton smiled at the set up when Lucas appeared before her.

"What's all this?" she was amused. 

Lucas modestly shrugged, "I just wanted to spend some time alone with my girlfriend before she goes off to college tomorrow."

"Come here," she wrapped her arms around his neck. His hands slipped around her waist until they interlocked behind the small of her back. 

"I'm going to miss you." she kissed him. 

"I'm going to miss you too."

They stood in the middle of the rooftop of Karen's cafe, embraced in each other and never wanting tomorrow to come. 

"It feels likes I just got back from interning in L.A. Being away from you all summer sucked and now, it's gonna be all school year long…I don't know if I want to go anymore."

"Yeah, you do," he laughed, "And like I keep telling you, as much as I want you to stay, you can't."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she rolled her eyes and remembered their previous talks, "I'm destined for greatness…"

"You are, Peyton Sawyer," he told her seriously, "Believe that. I believe it."

"Thank you," she said gratefully, "But I don't want to leave you again. Are you sure you want to stay in Tree Hill? You can still come with me, you know,"

Lucas nodded. "I know, but I can't leave my mom and Lily. My mom doesn't say it, but raising Lily and two businesses is a lot of work for one person. Besides, I already accepted the coaching job with Whitey. It's a great opportunity. It lets me focus on my writing and it lets me watch Lily grow up too," 

Peyton smiled at her boyfriend while her hands played with the collar of his button-downed shirt, "Look at you, wanting to take care of your mom and baby sister. You're a great guy, Lucas Scott."

"I try," he shrugged.

"No, really, Luke. I'm proud of you. And I know Keith would be too." 

"You think so?"

She nodded without hesitating. "I know so,"

Their foreheads touched, as they gazed lovingly into each others eyes. Their bodies swayed to the imaginary music that played in the background. It was their world they had become lost in and they cherished every moment of it. 

As usual, reality was first to set into Peyton. Lucas quickly followed suit when he saw the worry and doubt in her eyes. 

"Peyt, what's wrong?"

"You're sure about this long distance thing, right?" nervously she started playing with his shirt again, "I mean want us to work - more than anything – and I know we survived the last two months. But those two months being apart from you was hell. And now with school, it's like eight months, possibly more. And you know Brooke's Cosmo said nine out of ten long distance relationship don't work out," Peyton worriedly rambled.

"Well, then we'll just be that one in ten," he smiled before kissing her lightly on her forehead. "I know it's going to be hard, but we're going be ok because we're gonna make this work. I am committed to you, Peyton. I love you."

Peyton took a long breath in, believing him. "And I love you."

"But can you just do me one favor?"

"Anything."

"Stop reading Brooke's Cosmo."

Peyton laughed and exclaimed, "It was a long plane ride home!"

An hour later, Lucas and Peyton made their way back down to the café where the rest of their friends were causally hanging out. It was the last get together before everyone went on their separate college paths. Laughter, memories and well wishes were shared until one by one the Tree Hill High graduates left, leaving the owner and her only son behind to clean up.

"So where did you and Peyton disappear to earlier?" Karen asked.

"What do you mean? We were here the whole time." 

"Right. So should I expect you home late or not at all tonight?"

"Mom!" Lucas exclaimed. 

"Well, if you don't tell me, then your curfew still stands at its usual time." Karen lightly threatened.

"Mom, I'm going to be a published author. Published authors don't have curfews."

"No, but my published author does." she smirked.

"Funny. Real funny mom," Lucas finished wiping the countertop and took a seat on the stool in front of his mom, "But if it's alright, would it be ok if Peyton spent the night? She's coming over after she drops Brooke off at the airport and I'd really like to spend some time with her before she leaves tomorrow."

"Of course, it's fine."

Lucas smiled happily and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks, ma."

"Lucas, are you sure you don't want to go away for college? Cause you do know that I will be fine raising Lily and running the cafe and Tric. I've done it once before, you know."

"I know. You're a super mom. But like I told Peyton earlier, I want to. Besides, it's almost perfect."

"Almost perfect?"

Lucas laughed, "Yeah. It'd only be perfect if California was only an hour away."

"I'm sure Peyton feels the same," Karen, standing on the tip of her toes, kissed her only son on the cheek, "You're a good boy, Lucas Scott. I'm lucky to have you as son."

"Aw, shucks, mom." joked Lucas, trying to hide his blushing cheeks. 

Karen tossed her rag at him and laughed, "Hey, I'm trying to have a tender moment with my son and all I get back is sarcasm?"

"I love you too, mom." Lucas, with his goofy grin, turned to his mother with arms outstretched. 

She smiled gratefully and accepted his hug, "I love you too, kiddo."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – four years later**

_- You make me feel less crazy when otherwise I'd drown -_

A month and a half into the last semester college ever meant that there was only one month till Spring Break - the week Peyton would be coming home. It was exactly twenty-six days away and was circled on every calendar Lucas got his hands on. Karen teased him because as a kid he used to do the same thing when he would count down the days for Christmas. Lucas couldn't help it. He missed Peyton and couldn't wait to see her in person again. Talking on the webcam every night or texting every free second they had just wasn't the same. Until then, Lucas kept himself busy with schoolwork, watching after his baby sister so Karen could get some rest, or running Tric at night.

Never once did Lucas complain, not even tonight after he closed the café and headed over to Tric to open the club for his mother. Lily had come down a cold and Lucas insisted that Karen stay home to take care of his little sister.

"Hey, Peyton. It's about ten thirty," Lucas said into the cell phone, "I just called to hear your voice, but since you didn't pick up, your voice mail will have to do. I guess you're out having fun somewhere with your friends. At least that's what I hope you're doing. I know how hard you've been working on your thesis. You deserve a break. Anyways, I'm at the club, just working on a few pages of that new book I was telling you about. So, in case you suddenly miss your boyfriend and have the urge to talk to him, I'll be up late. I love you, Peyton Sawyer."

With a smile, Lucas flipped his cell phone off and placed it on the desk in front of him. He considered himself the luckiest guy in the world. His relationship with Peyton was still going strong. His team – technically Whitey's team and the team Nathan plays for - are the defending National Champions and ranked number one heading into the conference tournament. Lucas' first book, _An Unkindness of Ravens,_ was a modest hit and enough to earn him a long-term book contract. Lastly, he had the greatest mother and cutest little sister in the world.

What he didn't know, or at least what he never considered, was the fact that he wasn't the luckiest person in the world. The people who knew him, the people who loved him were truly the lucky ones.

"Lucas, sorry to interrupt," said Mark, a bartender at Tric, who suddenly appeared at the door way, "I know you wanted to get some work done but a fight broke out in the lobby and we need your help."

The shaggy blonde sighed. His quiet night to work on his novel had just vanished.

Not a second after Lucas ran off, with his red cape attached to the back of his shirt, did his cell phone go off. With no one in the office to answer it, the voicemail activated.

"Dude, seriously. We gotta stop playing phone tag. So would it kill you to pick up your phone once in a while? Your girlfriend would like to hear her boyfriend's real voice, not the recorded one on his voicemail," Peyton's said with a sarcastic smirk playing on her lips.

"Because I miss you, Lucas. Tonnes. But I guess you're working hard on that book of yours. All will be forgiven for missing my call if I get to read it, first." she laughed.

"I'm home now, but you were right. I went out with some friends, but left early so that I could get a chance to talk to you tonight, but I guess I missed your call anyways. Probably gonna work on that thesis a bit more but most likely I'm gonna wait up for a certain phone call because we all know how much I hate playing tag and how much I love you, Lucas Scott."

* * *

**A/N: **Short chapter, I know…but it's just to show how their relationship was for past four years. Hope you enjoyed!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

_- All my troubles all my fears dissolve in your affection -_

"Peyton!" the little girl screamed with delight as she ran as fast as her little legs could carry her.

Peyton beamed and kneeled down, scooping up Lily Rose Scott into her arms. "How's my favorite little girl?"

"Good,"

"I missed you, you know that?"

"Uh-huh. I missed you too," she giggled.

"Well, I hope you got something for me too," Lucas smiled as he approached the two girls.

"Of course. Come here," Peyton leaned in and gave him a kiss.

"Eww!" Lily exclaimed.

It was something that she learned from her Uncle Nathan. The last time Peyton was home and would kiss Lucas, Nathan would turn to his niece, wrinkle his nose and say 'Ew'. Lily thought it was funny and it didn't take long for her to imitate him.

Peyton pulled away from Lucas, laughing. "You've been hanging out with your Uncle too much, haven't you?"

Lily nodded and giggled. She looked behind Peyton and then back to her. "Where's Brooke?"

"Sorry, Lils. Brooke couldn't come this time. She had to go to with her mom to New York."

"Had to?" Lucas questioned.

While in college, Brooke kept up with _Clothes Over Bros._ through her internet site, but her dream was much bigger. With graduation in site, Brooke was ready to expand her company. At first, all she wanted was one store where she could show off her clothes, but her mom, Victoria, one store wasn't enough. With Brooke's talent, _Clothes Over Bros._ had the potential to be a multi-million dollar company and Victoria wanted to make sure it happened.

"Victoria scheduled a meeting with some Realtor without Brooke's permission. So thanks to Victoria, Brooke can't spend spring break with us."

"So, that just leaves you and me. Works for me." Lucas grinned.

"Well actually Haley and..."

"Oh, I don't think Haley's into threesomes."

"What's a threesome?" Lily asked innocently.

Peyton threw Lucas a glare for immaturely bringing it up, "Yeah, Luke. What is it?"

"Uhh...well," Lucas stuttered, but lucky for him Peyton decided to bail him out.

"Hey, Lils, guess what? I got you a present."

The little girl's eyes lit up and forgot about her question.

"What is it?"

Peyton handed Lily over to Lucas and dug through her carry on bag. She pulled out a book and handed it to the little girl. Like her big brother, Lily had a natural love for literature. Lucas's eyes grew just as big as his sister's. His mouth fell open as he took the book from his sister's hands in fear of ruining the limited edition copy of _The Velveteen Rabbit_ with her sticky hands.

"Where in the world did you find it?" Lucas asked with excitement.

"Hey! That's mine!" Lily exclaimed.

"Luke!" Peyton laughed as she pried the book from his fingers and handed it back to its rightful owner.

"Hey!" Lucas exclaimed, "I was just holding it for her. Her hands are sticky,"

Peyton shook her head and tsk'ed her boyfriend.

"Thank you, Peyton. I love it," Lily said before turning to Lucas to stick her tongue out at him, causing Peyton to laugh again.

"You're welcome, Lily,"

Lucas smiled at the rear view mirror as he watched his little sister and girlfriend in the reflection. Peyton was reading Lily the book when she caught a glimpse of him spying on them. She smiled back and continued reading. She truly missed moments like these.

Being on her own in L.A. was pretty lonesome. Sure she had her friends, but this just didn't compare to college life. This was her family.

By the time Lucas pulled up to the café, Lily had already fallen asleep. Carefully he carried her into the café with Peyton right behind them.

"Peyton, welcome home," Karen walked up to Peyton and hugged her.

"Thanks, Karen. It's good to see you,"

"How was the flight?"

"Oh, the usual. Long and boring,"

"Well, you must be starved. Let me put Lily in the back and I'll fix you a sandwich,"

Karen went to take Lily from Lucas's arm, but Lucas insisted, "It's ok mom, I got her. Have you eaten yet?"

"No, I haven't yet. The rush just died down and I just got the café cleaned up,"

"Alright, well I'll put Lily down and I'll make us all lunch. Just relax and keep Peyton company," Lucas said as he headed towards the back.

Karen was touched by her son's thoughtfulness, "I think you should come home more often, Peyton,"

"Yes, she should," Lucas agreed.

The two girls laughed as they took a seat at one of the tables and Lucas disappeared into the back.

"So how's school?"

"Good, but I miss it here. And I know you're just a phone call away, but it's not the same, you know?"

"I know, but it's only for a few more months till graduation, right?"

"Yeah. I can't believe it's been four years already. You know, just between you and I, I had my doubts about having a long distance relationship,"

"After all you and Lucas been through just to finally be together, did you really think a little distance was going to be a problem for you?"

Peyton shrugged, embarrassed at her insecurity. They had overcome a horrid love triangle, two near death experiences, and now nearly four years of being apart. Love truly did conquer all.

"So have you thought about what you're going to do afterwards?"

"It's funny you should ask that now," Peyton said with a sigh, "My professor suggested I pursue my Masters with him, but I'm not sure if that's what I want to do,"

"Why's that?"

"Because I got a job offer,"

"Peyton, that's fantastic,"

"Yeah, but I don't know if I want to do that either,"

"What? Why?"

"Well, for starters, school is in California and the job offer is in Chicago. I mean for school, I was ok with being away because I could still come home for the holidays, you know, but with a job…"

"It's more permanent,"

"Yeah,"

"Have you talked to Lucas about this yet?"

Peyton shook her head, "Not yet,"

Karen gave her a warm smile, "You're a big part of Lucas's life and he loves you very much. So no matter what you decide, he'll be there for you,"

"He's a big part of my life too. That's why I don't think I can take it,"

"I knew you guys would make it through these past four years without a problem. You know why?" Karen smiled warmly, "There's a lot of love and admiration between the two of you. The looks Lucas gets when he's just thinking about you and the looks you give him when you think no one is looking…"

"Am I that obvious?" Peyton covered her face with her hands, mortified that of all people her boyfriend's mother noticed her ogling eyes, "Oh, God,"

Karen took Peyton's hands down, "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's a rare thing, what the two of you share. And even if it's a little distance, it's worth fighting for, isn't it?"

"It is," Peyton nodded, "Lucas is worth it,"

"And so are you. Just remember that,"

"I will,"

"Don't worry about it too much, Peyton. I believe the two of you will work it out,"

"PEYTON!"

Karen and Peyton jumped, scared by the unexpected greeting. Haley had entered the cafe and was just excited to see Peyton.

"Hey, Hales." Peyton got up and hugged her friend.

"It's so good to see you. I mean see you live in person, not through the webcam."

Peyton laughed. "Yeah you too. Where's Jamie?"

"Oh, Deb's watching him. I had an interview today."

"Dude! How'd it go?"

"Well, I didn't get Writer's Craft, like I wanted to. Old Mrs. Johnson refuses to retire."

"Whoa, she's still there?"

"Yup, so I'm stuck with freshmen English."

"But Turner hired you! That's amazing, Hales."

"Congratulations, Haley." Karen hugged her.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I kinda wanted to teach senior classes right away. I didn't really want to work my way up."

It was just like the over achiever to be so pessimistic about getting a job.

Suddenly, Lucas emerged from the kitchen with three plates balancing in his hands.

"Three chicken clubhouses with fries," he announced.

"Sweet! Just in time for food." Haley said.

Before Lucas could protest that he didn't make a plate for her, Haley took one of the plates from Lucas' hand carried it over to the table. Karen and Peyton couldn't help but laugh as they took the remaining two plates.

"Come on, we can share." Peyton finally offered.

As they ate, Karen couldn't help but notice the extra twinkle in Lucas's eyes as he listened to Peyton. It was never a question of how much Lucas loved Peyton. Anybody who saw the two of them together could tell. Karen knew they were going to be ok, as long as they had each other.

* * *

**A Few Days Later**

They were sitting on her bed, him reading and her staring at a blank sketchbook. She had put off telling him about her future plans because she wasn't sure how he'd react. Peyton's time at home was short and she just wanted to relax and enjoy it. But with all the worrying and debating going on in her mind, she just couldn't relax. So she finally just blurted it out.

Her nervous babble scared him at first. But as he listened, he knew there was nothing to worry about. He put down his book and sat up.

"Wow, Peyton. That's amazing."

"Yeah, I couldn't believe it either. I still can't, but Lucas…"

"See, I'm not the only one who thinks you're destined for greatness. So which offer are you going to take?"

"Actually, I was thinking of neither."

"What?"

"Luke, I've been going to school all my life. You know maybe it'd be a good idea to take a year off before I started work. Maybe spend some time with you. Maybe travel with you like we talked about?"

Lucas laughed. "Sounds good, but it also sounds like you were leaning towards Chicago."

"Well, if I had to choose between the two, yes. But Luke, I don't want to be apart from you. Aren't you tired of seeing each other only weeks at a time?"

"More than you know." Lucas devilishly smiled.

Peyton knew that grin of his and braced herself for his attack. He lunged across the bed and tackled her backwards onto the bed. They kissed once, twice and again. Lucas pulled away before they got carried away.

* * *

_"Hey, ma! I'm going over to Peyton's. Do you need anything before I go?"_

_Karen stepped out of Lily's bedroom and walked down the hall towards Lucas. _

_"No, we're good here. But before you go, there's something I need to ask you."_

_"Yeah, what is it?"  
_

_"When you visit Peyton at school, who do you have running Tric?"_

_Curiously, Lucas looked at his mother, "Steve and Marcy. Why is something wrong?"_

_"No, not at all. They did a great job."  
_

_"Yeah, they did," he agreed, "But I don't see where this is going."_

_"Well, I was going over the books the other day and since the club is doing so well, I was thinking that we could afford to take a step back and let Steve and Marcy run the club for us."_

_"Run the club for us? Am I not doing a good job?"  
_

_Karen laughed, "You're doing a wonderful job, Lucas. Better than I could have done, but you're still young. You shouldn't be tied down to Tric or to me and Lily. If you want to run Tric, then by all means, it's yours. But if you don't, then just know that you can still go and live your life."_

* * *

At the time, he didn't fully understand what his mother was saying, but now it made all the sense in the world.

"Luke? What's wrong?"

"I was just thinking about my mom."

Peyton raised a brow and laughed, "You're thinking about your mom while we're making out? Talk about an Oedipus complex."

Lucas rolled his eyes, "No, I was thinking of something she said to me earlier...What would you say if I said I'd come with you?"

Peyton was stunned. Speechless. She could only stare at his goofy grin, wondering if he was serious.

"Well?" he waited.

"That's not funny." Peyton finally said as she pushed Lucas off of her and sat up. "You can't joke about this and get my hopes..."

"Peyton, I'm not joking. I want to come with you."

"You're not kidding?"

Lucas shook his head. "I have money saved up and I could get a job out there too or write...and maybe we could get an apartment together. I mean if that's ok with you."

"Of course it's ok with me!" Peyton excitedly lunged at Lucas and hugged him. "Wait. What about your mom? And Lily?"

"They'll be ok. Trust me. My mom's got it all worked out."

* * *

"Call me when you get there?" Lucas asked between kisses.

"I promise."

"Next!" the TSA agent called out.

"Well, that's me." She said sadly.

Lucas kissed her one last time before they pulled away, breathless. Reluctantly he handed Peyton her carry on.

"I'll be seeing you, Lucas Scott," she said with a smile.

He had seen her off so many times before and each time he did, the harder it seemed to do. It was difficult not to run after her and tell her not to go, to stay with him.

Lucas stood in the same spot, with his hands dug deep into his pockets as he watched Peyton go through security check without a problem. One last time, like she always did, Peyton turned, smiled and waved to her adoring boyfriend before disappearing into the airport.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for holding off on this fic. Originally Brooke and Haley weren't mentioned in the chapter, mainly because this fic concentrates on LP. But RJMoonspell4 pointed something out about using the main characters. So instead of giving updates on them later on in the chapters, I added a small bit here on them. Hope you enjoyed and thanks for all your inputs.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_- There are times I can't decide when I can't tell up from down -_

Lucas couldn't breathe as his world came to a screeching halt. The moment he had gotten that phone call he went numb. He refused to believe it. It was unreal. Hours had passed since then and he was still waiting for someone to wake him up from this cruel nightmare.

"Lucas?"

His red eyes looked up to find his best friend running towards him with her husband, his brother, close behind.

"What happened? Is she ok?"

"I…I don't know, Hales. They called and..."

Lucas's lips trembled. He wasn't trapped in a nightmare. He was living it. Immediately, Haley wrapped her arms around Lucas who held onto her tightly.

"Lucas Scott?"

A doctor, dressed in bloodied green scrubs stood before Lucas, Haley and Nathan. Wiping his eyes, Lucas stepped forward, "How is she?"

Sorrow and frustration filled the doctor's face. "We did everything we could. I'm sorry."

Uncontrollable sobs came from Haley who turned to Nathan for comfort. Nathan held his wife as tears of his own fell. His eyes looked up to his brother, who stood in place. Still. Frozen. Numb. And with no one to comfort him.

* * *

She had been out celebrating the last day of her college career with Brooke and some friends when her phone began to vibrate in her pocket.

"Hello?" she answered. "I can't hear you. Hold on a second."

Politely she excused herself from the table and made her way outside of the bar where it was much quieter.

"Hey, Nate, what's up?"

"It's Karen."

There was worry and sadness in his voice, causing the blood to drain from Peyton's face. Something wasn't right. "What happened to Karen?"

"She had a heart attack." Nathan tried to keep his composure on the phone, "They couldn't save her."

"Oh, God." Peyton cried. The world seemed to stop spinning for everyone. And then Peyton went numb.

"Lucas isn't taking it too well, Peyton. He needs you..."

"Hey, there you are Peyton," Brooke said as she stepped out of the bar, "I turn around for one second and you disappear on…Peyton?"

It was then did Brooke see her friend on the verge of tears. The colour was drained from her face and she looked as if she was going to be sick. Brooke recognized that look. Something terrible had happened.

Just as the phone began to slip from Peyton's hand, Brooke caught it. "Hello? Nathan? It's Brooke. What happened?"

For Peyton's sake, Brooke held back her tears as Nathan explained everything to Brooke. She knew that if they wanted to be on the next plane to Tree Hill, she would have to be the one to get them there.

"We're coming home." Brooke hung up the phone and turned to her friend, "Peyton, honey. I'm just gonna go inside to get our stuff…"

That was all Peyton heard before her mind began to wander. She just couldn't believe it. Karen was too good of a person to die so young, but then so were Peyton's mothers. Another mother from Peyton's life was gone. Just like that. No warning. No goodbye. It was unfair. Not just for her, but for Lucas. Lucas and Karen were so close. They weren't just mother and son, they were friends.

Now it was just Lucas. And Lily. Lily. Oh God, she was just four years old. Lucas had twenty-two wonderful years with his mother. Peyton had gotten nine with Anna. But Lily only had four. It wasn't long enough to know or remember much about her own mother. It just wasn't fair. How could life be so cruel?

* * *

**A/N: **Since this chapter is short, I'll probably post the next one later tonight or tomorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five  
**

_- Even when I have to push, just to see how far you'll go, you won't stoop down to battle,_

_but you never turn to go -_

Karen's death had taken a toll the Scott siblings. One was sad and too young to understand why her mother was never going to walk through the front door again. The other had unintentionally become an unemotional man just going through the motions. Lily was Lucas' responsibility now. He wasn't just her brother anymore. He was her guardian; her only parental figure left. And he wouldn't be able to do that if he was an emotional wreck.

The pain of losing someone so dear wasn't new to Peyton, but it still didn't make it any easier. She too was mourning the loss of an incredibly inspirational woman, whom she also loved very much. But somebody had to make sure Lucas and Lily ate three meals a day, made sure the bills were going to be paid on time and made sure the house was clean. And that somebody was Peyton.

After the last bag of trash was thrown out, Peyton tiredly walked back into the house. She had been staying with Lucas and Lily for two weeks now and never minded to take on Karen's responsibilities. Taking care of Lucas and his sister almost seemed natural. The only thing that did bother her though was the change in Lucas' behaviour. He hardly ever laughed or smiled – only when Lily was around, but even then, it was forced and fake.

"Hey, why don't you get ready for bed?" Peyton said as she entered the room decorated with Dora the Explorer paraphernalia. Lily was fast asleep in her bed, with Lucas sitting in a chair by her bedside.

"She keeps having nightmares. I don't want to leave her alone."

"She won't be. I'll stay with her. Go wash up, Luke. You need to get some sleep too."

After a little more coaxing, Lucas finally gave in. When Lucas left the room, Peyton took his place beside Lily. She gently brushed the little girl's hair back from her face.

"Your mom and dad love you very much," Peyton whispered to the sleeping girl. "And just because you don't see them, doesn't mean that they're not here with you. They're watching over you, Lils. Sometimes you'll forget that, I know I have, but I'll be right here to remind you. I promise."

Lily stirred and opened her eyes. When they adjusted to the light, she saw Peyton smiling down at her.

"Hey, Lils," Peyton cooed, "Go back to sleep."

"Can you sing me my song?"

"Yeah, of course."

It was Karen's lullaby song that she sang to Lily before bedtime. It was the same song that she sang to Lucas when he was a young boy.

_"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are grey_

_You'll never know dear how much I love you _

_Please don't take my sunshine away" _

Peyton stayed a few minutes longer to make sure Lily was sound asleep. She placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before shutting off the night light and walking out of the room. The bathroom was unoccupied. Lucas's room was vacant as well. He wasn't in the house. Peyton wasn't surprised. She almost anticipated it.

* * *

The cafe was dark and empty. Inside, the chairs and tables were overturned and broken dishware was scattered all over the dining room area. If it weren't for Lucas' car parked in front, Peyton would have called 911 about a break in before moving on to the Rivercourt to look for him. Knowing Lucas was inside, she carefully maneuvered around the obstacle course and into the back kitchen.

Sitting in the dark, with his back against the fridge, was Lucas. There was nothing in his dry eyes except for anger and hurt. Without a word, Peyton sat down beside him.

"Lucas..."

"Don't," he spat out. "Nothing you say or do will change anything."

"I know it won't." she said softly. She reached out for him, but he pulled away.

Peyton watched him get up and walk across the room.

"Someone has to be with Lily." he muttered.

"Nathan's with her."

"Go home, Peyton. Please."

"I'm not going to leave you here alone, Lucas."

He turned around with a mean frown, "Right. You say that now but come Sunday morning you'll be on the first flight out to Chicago."

Two months ago, Peyton had accepted the job offer in Chicago. She was supposed to move out to the city and get settled in first. Then Lucas would move out there about a month later. It was their perfect plan.

Peyton stood up and walked towards him. She shook her head, knowing that their plan had already been changed. "I'm not going. I'm staying here."

Lucas shook his head, "We don't need your pity. We'll be fine without you. We always have been."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Lucas gritted his teeth and forced the words out. "_**I've**_ always looked after my mom._** I**_ gave up junior leagues for her because I didn't want her to ever see Dan again. All my life I helped her with this stupid cafe. I was there for her when she was pregnant with Lily. I gave up going to school with you so that I could help raise Lily and help pay the bills. And for what?"

"Lucas, don't do this to yourself. You gave up a lot for your mom because that's the kind of man she raised you to be. And you know, it's not a bad thing. It's nothing to be ashamed of or to regret. Karen loved you. And I know she was thankful for you."

"Like you know," he laughed bitterly, "For the past four years you got to go off and live your life. You didn't have all the responsibilities that I had. You don't know what it was like to take care of my family while juggling work, writing and coaching. **You** don't know because you left. And **you **won't know what it's like to raise Lily alone because you're just going to leave again!"

People always leave. It was unfortunate that Lucas now knew exactly what Peyton had been feeling when she drew that infamous traffic light sketch.

"Don't you dare make me feel guilty for accepting that job offer. Things were different when we made that decision **_together_.**" She took a breath to calm herself, "I'm not going anywhere. Not now and not Sunday. So if you want to yell and scream, go ahead. Just let it out. But I'm not here to fight with you, Luke."

Peyton stood before him and stared into his steely eyes. She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "I will always be here for you and Lily."

As Peyton attempted to hug him, but he backed away. It was an unkind and hurtful move on his part, but Peyton understood. She knew it because it was the same way she handled the death of her adoptive mother. Lucas needed his space. He needed some time alone. He needed to let his nightmare to become a reality. But he also needed his mother.

Lucas cleared his throat. "I need to get back to Lily."

She had fallen asleep on his bed while Lucas watched over Lily a little while longer. When she finally felt his body sink into the edge of the bed, Peyton woke up. Slowly she sat up, letting her tired eyes focus on him. The anger that had plagued him was now gone. He was broken and hurting. Loneliness had consumed him. The pain of losing his mother was eating him up inside and he wanted it all to go away.

"Come here." she coaxed him into her.

Lucas hesitated, but the tears he had kept inside couldn't be kept inside any longer. He crawled across the bed to her and rested his head onto her chest. His body shook against hers as he sobbed. Peyton held him close, fighting tears of her own and letting him finally grieve.

"I'm sorry." he cried.

"Shh...it's ok, Luke." she kissed the top of his head, holding him tighter, "It's gonna be ok."

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

**Chapter Six**

_- I get mad so easy, but you give me room to breathe -_

When she awoke the next morning, Peyton found herself alone in bed. The only evidence of Lucas coming home last night was her tear-stained pajama top. After quickly getting dressed, Peyton searched the rest of the house for him. Lucas was nowhere to be found. Lily, on the other hand, was still soundly sleeping in her bed.

Worry and concern started to overcome her. She started to dial his cell phone, but by the time her thumb reached the 'send' key, Peyton had a second thought. Time healed all wounds and if that's what Lucas needed, then she would give it to him.

"Hey, P. Sawyer, how you doing?" Brooke answered her phone. A few days after the funeral, Brooke flew back to L.A. to pack up the apartment the two best friends had shared.

"Not, good." Peyton nearly broke. "Lucas is…well, I don't know how he is because he still won't talk to me and I don't know what else to do."

"I'm sorry, honey. But he'll come around, he's Lucas and he's a lot like you, all broody and stubborn, but so strong."

"But I wasn't strong, Brooke. I had you."

"And Lucas has you. So, in a way he has us both – and I don't mean that in a threesome kind of way…although…"

"Brooke!" Peyton scolded, but let out a giggle. Brooke had done her job as a best friend and made Peyton laugh.

"I know it's going to be tough, Peyton. We all loved Karen so much. But it's just going to take time. Remember how long it took me just to get you out of the house?"

Peyton rolled her eyes, "Well how long did it take you to offer to take me to the record store instead of The Fashion Boutique?"

"Well, The Fashion Boutique was having a sale." Brooke defended.

"Peyton?" said a tiny voice.

Peyton turned around and found Lily looking up at her with sad eyes. "Brooke, I have to go. I'll call you later. Hey, Lils. What's wrong?"

"I miss mommy."

"I know you do. Come here." Lily ran into Peyton's arms. "You know, sometimes when I miss my moms, I look at pictures and I remember all the good times we had together. Do you want to look at your photo album?"

Lilly answered with a nod and together, Lily and Peyton remembered Karen.

* * *

"I remember that!" Lily pointed to one of the pictures. "Mommy and Lucas took me to the zoo and we got our face painted. Look, mommy looks like a tiger."

Peyton was amused by the photos she hadn't seen before. She pointed to the blonde boy in the picture with his nose painted black, "Is that Lucas?"

"Uh-huh. He's a bear."

As Peyton laughed with Lily, Lucas walked through the door.

"What's going on here?" he asked as he approached the two girls on the couch.

"Look, Lucas. We're remembering mommy."

His eyes narrowed at the photo album that Lily was holding. The photos of his mother smiling made him smile. Lucas remembered that Sunday in April. He was at home watching Lily when Karen came home from the café shortly after opening up. With Karen busy with the café during the day and Lucas busy with at Tric at night or with coaching, it was a rarity that the three of them got to spend time together. So after serving the fifth family breakfast that morning, Karen decided to take the day off and take her kids to the zoo.

As he looked at the picture with his smiling mother, Lucas suddenly remembered that they wouldn't get days like that again. There wouldn't be any more family days – at least not for him or Lily.

Lucas snatched the book off of his sister's lap and snapped it shut.

"Lucas!" Lily cried.

"Lily, go to your room." He ordered as he shoved the album onto the shelf.

"No! I want to look at mommy."

"Lily, go to your room now!"

The little girl was not used to seeing an angry big brother and it scared her. It was beginning to scare Peyton too.

"Hey!" Peyton tried to intervene but Lily had already taken off in tears. Peyton couldn't believe the sudden outburst that she had just witnessed. "Lucas, what's going on with you?"

"Me? What about you, Peyton? What were you thinking? She's barely five years old. Showing Lily these photos…it's not going to bring our mother back."

"No, but it helps Lily to remember."

"Remember what? That her mother is dead?"

"What? No, of course not."

"Then what? That we'll never get spend any more time with her? Or that she's not going to be there for Lily's next birthday? God, Peyton. Our mother is dead and she's never going to be a part of our lives anymore!"

"Lucas, I'm just trying to help…"

"Well, just stop because we don't need to be reminded of it every friggin' day!"

A helpless Peyton sighed as she watched Lucas disappear into the kitchen. The responsible and caring man she fell in love was buried somewhere inside of him. Even though she understood what Lucas was going through, the anger just wasn't who he was and it wasn't good for Lily to be around it either.

"Lucas, I know you're hurting, but this has to stop." Peyton had followed him into the kitchen.

"You're right." He admitted sadly.

"What?"

"Lily is my responsibility, not yours. You have that job in Chicago and..."

"No. I told you I'm not taking that job."

"We're fine here without you, Peyton." Frustration began to fill his voice again. "I don't need your help."

His words stung, but she remained calm and patient with him. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying. Look, I know you're hurting still and if you need to talk about it, I'm here."

Lucas shook his head, "There's nothing to talk about."

"Look, you're not the only one who misses her. We all loved Karen. But she's gone now."

"Stop it." He didn't want to hear anything about his mother. It hurt too much.

"We have to move on."

"No! SHUT UP!" he yelled.

Peyton jumped at his snap. He didn't mean to scare her. He just wanted the hurting to stop. Suppressing his tears, Lucas walked right past Peyton, "I'm sorry, Peyton but I can't do this anymore."

Peyton followed him down the hall, thinking he was going into his bedroom. But he didn't turn into his room. Instead, he continued down the hall towards the front door.

"Lucas, stop. Just stop and look at me for a second." She stopped him just as he reached for the handle and waited for him to turn around. "I love you, ok? I'm not going to leave you. Just talk to me, please."

He shook his head, "I'm not the same person anymore."

"What are you talking about?"

"This morning, I went to the café to clean up. All I could think about was Lily. Lily has to come first and right now, she's all I got left."

"I know Lily comes first and I'm not asking you to change that, Luke."

"No, you don't understand. What we had, it was…great, but I can't be that guy for you anymore. I'm not that guy who just get up a leave Tree Hill with you or the guy who can sit around and wait for your next phone call…My life now is Lily and it just doesn't include you anymore."

"Lucas, you're hurting," Peyton fought back tears. "You're just…you don't…"

He was breaking up with her and she was too shocked to say anything but a few incoherent phrases.

"Just go! I don't want you here anymore."

Lucas opened the door and held it open. The quicker she left, the easier it would be, at least that's what he thought. Just then, Lily came out of her room.

"Peyton, don't go!" she yelled as she ran towards her.

"Don't do this, Luke." Peyton quietly said to him. "You don't mean it."

"Lily, say goodbye to Peyton. She has to go away for a little bit."

Unfortunately, Lucas did mean it. He didn't want Peyton there anymore.

"Are you going away like mommy?" Lily innocently asked.

Peyton's heart broke, again.

"Wha...no, sweetie. I'm just going away for a little while. That's all. I'll be back. I promise." Peyton tightly wrapped her arms around the small child. "Shh...don't cry, Lils."

She gently wiped Lily's tears and then her own. "I may not be around for a while, but if you need to talk to me, you can call me any time, OK? Lucas and Aunt Haley have my number. For anything - even if it's just to say hi, you got that?"

Lily sadly nodded, "Can we talk on the computer so I can see you too?"

"Of course."

"Lily, it's time to go," Lucas interrupted. He knew he was the reason behind the tears of the two most important girls in his life and it killed him.

"But I want to stay with Peyton longer." she cried and held onto Peyton.

Riddled with guilt, Lucas had to look away. "Peyton has to go. Now come on."

Peyton glared at Lucas, then put on a smile for the little girl. "I love you, Lily. Don't forget that," Peyton whispered into her ear. "Keep an eye on your brother for me, ok? I'll call you as soon as I can."

The two girls hugged each other one last time before Peyton quickly stood up and bolted without a second glance back. Peyton knew if she looked back at Lily's sad eyes, she wouldn't have been able to leave. With teary eyes, Lily watched helplessly as Peyton, her favorite grown up, disappeared behind the door.

Lucas knelt down beside his baby sister and knew exactly how she was feeling. He placed a hand on her shoulder and tried to offer her some comfort.

"It's your fault." Lily stepped back from her brother. "You made Peyton leave. I hate you!"

Stunned by her outburst, Lucas didn't move until the slamming bedroom door made him flinch.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** As promised, an update. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

_- And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land -_

Every Saturday morning the Sommers family had a list of rules to follow:

1. Every member of this family is to report for kitchen duty at 08:55

2. Breakfast is served promptly at 09:00 in front of the TV

3. No family member is to dine alone

4. No member of this family is to change out of their pajamas until 12:00h

5. There will be no interruptions during family time

6. No one is to make fun of _Tom and Jerry_

The credits started and the cartoon's theme song played. Another episode of _Tom and Jerry _had just ended. The happy family of three was enjoying their time together, snacking on cereal straight from the box when there was knock at the door.

"I'll get it." He said.

"And what about rule number five?" She teased her husband who was always adamant about following the rules.

He pointed out the window to the renowned black car that was parked out front, "Rule number three comes before rule number five."

"Hey, sis." The Marine Officer greeted his sister.

"Hey, Derek." Peyton stepped in and hugged her brother.

Kimberly, Derek's wife of three years, entered the foyer, carrying their two-year old son, Isaiah, in her arms. Isaiah's eyes lit up when he saw his favorite aunt with the curls

"Pey-pey!" he shrieked.

"Oh my God! He's getting so big." Peyton gushed, reaching for her nephew. "Kim, he's looking more like you every day."

"Yeah, he does get his good looks from my side." Kim agreed as she handed her son over to Peyton. Almost immediately Isaiah reached for her hair. The little tyke had a fascination with Peyton's curly locks.

Isaiah pulled on a curl, straightening it, and then let it go. The lock sprung back into place like magic. The three adults laughed as his eyes grew wide in wonderment and then narrowed with confusion.

Come on in, Peyton." Kim said, "_Tom and Jerry_ is finally over."

"Oh, thank God." Peyton said as she followed her sister-in-law into the living room.

"Hey, rule number six!" Derek called after the laughing girls.

* * *

The television was on, but it wasn't what Lucas was watching. He couldn't keep his eyes off of Lily's bedroom door. Lily, still upset with Lucas from the night before, was in her bedroom. She refused to come out of the room and wouldn't let Lucas in. He waited two hours before he swallowed his pride and called Haley for help.

Fifteen minutes after the call for help was sent out, Haley showed up at the front door with Nathan and Jamie in tow. Haley just shook here head and went straight for Lily's room. Nathan shrugged and went straight for the kitchen to help himself to the breakfast feast Lucas had cooked for Lily. Jamie stood before his uncle and stared up at him. Although he didn't know the details, he figured Uncle Luke had done something wrong, again. So when Lucas looked back down at his nephew, Jamie gave him a goofy smile to cheer him up.

It did the trick. Lucas laughed and picked up Jamie over his shoulder. "Come on, J. Luke. _Tom and Jerry _just finished."

"Aw, man!" Jamie complained, "I like _Tom and Jerry._"

"Well, it's a good thing that your favorite uncle has TiVo!"

"Awesome!"

After setting Jamie in front of the television, Lucas went to the kitchen to join his brother. Nathan looked up from his plate of pancakes, but resumed eating as Lucas joined him at the table.

"You know, you could save some for the rest of us."

"You know, you could just call Peyton." Nathan countered.

Lucas knew his little brother was pushing his buttons, but he wouldn't stoop to his level. Instead, Lucas just informed Nathan the reasons behind his actions. "She has her own life to live. I can't keep her from living it."

"Not even if her life was here?"

"If her life was here, then she'd be here."

"Luke, **you told** Peyton to leave. In fact, you practically pushed Peyton out that door."

"It's for her own good. Lily's too."

"What do you mean? Lily loves Peyton."

"I know. And I never doubted it but when Peyton comes home, she's only home for a few days, which makes it that much harder for Lily to say goodbye. So it's just better if Peyton stays away for a while."

"Are you sure you're not talking about yourself?"

"Look at Lily right now - she's in her room crying for Peyton. Before, Lily would be sad for a little while but then cheers right up when you'd offer her ice cream."

"Well, did you ever think that it's because Lily not only just lost her mother, but Peyton too?"

Lucas shook his head. "Right now, Lily just needs some stability. Peyton can't offer that while she's making a life for herself. Peyton is incredibly talented and smart. And that passion, that drive that she has...she can do some pretty great things, Nate. But you know as well as I do that she can't do that here in Tree Hill. So don't sit there and tell me that I'm doing the wrong thing here."

Nathan held his hands up, surrendering, but couldn't help but to add,"You got a life to life and so does Peyton. Who am I to tell you or her what to do?"

* * *

"I think someone fell asleep on me." Peyton whispered as she looked at the little boy who was resting comfortably on her lap.

Derek checked his watch, "Yeah, he usually takes his nap around this time."

"Must be a Sommers thing - always keeping to a schedule." Kimberly joked.

Peyton laughed while Derek smiled proudly.

"That's my boy!"

"Here, I"ll go put him in his room." Kimberly offered, "You two stay and catch up."

As Kimberly left the room with Isaiah in her arms, Derek turned of the television. It was time for the two half-siblings to catch up on life.

"I can't believe how fast Isaiah is growing," Peyton said with amazement.

"Yeah, me too," the proud father beamed, "Seems like yesterday we just brought him home from the hospital and I was just learning how to change a diaper. Speaking of change, what's going on in your life?"

"Oh, that's a nice transition. From dirty diapers to me. Thanks."

Derek laughed, "So are you going to tell me what's going on or am I going to have to guess?"

"Does something always have to be wrong? Can't I just visit my brother and spoil my nephew rotten?"

"Oh yeah, you're welcome to," Derek casually leaned back into his couch, "But I also know that where Peyton Sawyer is, drama is somewhere close behind."

"Yeah, lucky me." she sulked.

"Alright, so I suppose that all I'll need is one guess: Lucas?"

Peyton nodded sadly, "Yeah."

"How's he holding up?"

"Not good. You know, I've been trying to help him, but he doesn't want it. I feel so helpless, Derek. I don't know how to help him. I tried everything. I don't know what to do anymore…I'm the pusher, not the pushee."

"Well, now you know how we all feel," he joked, "Karma's a bitch, isn't it?"

"Shut up," she playfully pushed him. "So old wise brother, what should I do?"

"I think you already know the answer to that question."

"Huh?"

"You said so yourself, Peyton."

Peyton kinked a brow.

"You have always been a pusher. So push back, Sawyer. But instead of pushing away, push your way back into his life."

It was logical. So logical that it was scary. Could it be that simple? No. Not with Lucas. Lucas could be just as stubborn as she was. Peyton also knew that it was always easier to push people away than it was to let people in.

Derek sensed the inner battle Peyton was fighting, "But if you need time, you're welcome to stay here. Kim and I would love a night out to ourselves."

Peyton smiled in relief. She just wasn't ready to go back to Tree Hill. At least not until she was sure enough that she was strong enough to push her way back into his life. "Well good. Cause I'd love to hang out with my nephew."


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you to everyone who reviewed. They still mean a lot and are very encouraging. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 8**

_-You've seen me at my weakest but you take me as I am-_

The little culprit cautiously looked around the living room. Then her eyes fell on the prize - her brother's laptop. The lap top Lily wasn't allowed to touch or use without any permission and supervision.

Lily looked around again.

The coast was clear.

She made her way to the coffee table, where the lap top was resting. Lily took one more look for her brother. He was no where in sight. Then, with sticky peanut-butter-fingers, Lily pushed the power button on Lucas' laptop.

Lily had watched Lucas turn on the webcam numerous times and she was sure that she could turn it on by herself. Patiently she waited for the desktop to appear on the screen. Lily prayed the little machine would hurry up before Lucas could find her.

Lily had gone three whole days without talking to her favorite adult and just wanted to tell her that she missed her, but every time Lily asked her big brother if she could he would mumble incoherently and then say 'later'. It was later. Much later.

Finally, the desktop appeared on screen and the icons quickly loaded. Gleefully she carefully moved the cursor over to the icon pictured as a camera while leaving a trail of peanut butter and jelly smudges on the finger pad. With another sticky finger, Lily clicked the button.

Nothing happened.

She clicked on it a few more times. Then she tried other buttons.

Still nothing. Then…

"Lily Rose Scott!"

The little girl jumped at the sound of her big brother's angry voice.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"N...nothing," she said timidly, trying to hide the laptop with her small body.

"How many times have I told you not to touch the laptop without me?" Lucas rounded the couch and now towered over the frightened child. "Geez, Lils. Peanut butter? Look at the mess you made. Do you think I like to clean up after you all the time?"

"I'm sorry. I'll clean it. I promise. I just want to talk to Peyton."

"Lily, I told you already. Peyton can't talk to you right now."

"But she said anytime…"

"I said _**no**_, Lily."

"Why not?" she pouted.

"Because…because I said so."

"You're mean," she cried, "I want Peyton."

"Well, she's not coming back."

"She is. She promised me. She always comes back." Lily yelled at her brother.

"Not anymore. Peyton's never coming back. She's gone!"

"She left me too?" Lily's bottom lip trembled. Fresh tears began to form. "It's your fault."

"Lily…" he pleaded, but she swatted his hands away.

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" Lily screamed at Lucas before she ran to her bedroom.

Seconds later, the door slammed shut. A deep sigh left his lips, knowing that he hadn't handled the situation well and he knew that he wasn't the only one who knew it. Lucas wasn't the only other person left in the room.

Her face filled the screen. It was apparent by her facial expression and finger tips that covered her mouth that was agape that she had seen what had just transpired in the living room. Lucas felt even worse.

Her lips parted to say something but he didn't want to hear it. With the flick of the wrist, Lucas closed his laptop and walked out of the room.

* * *

"Lily, honey. It's me, Haley."

Silence.

"Can you please open the door?" Haley knocked.

Silence.

"This isn't good, Luke. How long has she been in there?" Haley asked Lucas who was standing behind her.

"About an hour now." he shrugged.

"What'd you do?"

"Why is it that I had to do something?"

Haley raised a brow, knowing her look would do all the explaining.

Lucas rolled his eyes and walked towards the kitchen where he took a seat at the table. Haley followed suit in the adjacent seat.

"I don't know," he said putting his head into his hands. "She got peanut butter on my computer and I sorta flipped on her."

"Is that all?"

"Pretty much."

"Riiight," Haley knew there was more to the story, "So exactly what was she doing with the laptop?"

"She wanted to talk to Peyton." muttered Lucas.

"And you wouldn't let her. Lucas, she's just a kid." she chastised her best friend, "Look, I know losing Karen was hard. It still is. But you of all people know that Peyton is a big part of Lily's life. And if either one of them have a say in it, that's not going to change. Ever."

"Don't start." Lucas stood up. "I heard it all from your husband already."

"Lucas..."

"**_I _**am doing the best that I can here." Lucas snapped, "Why can't anyone see that?"

"Nobody said you weren't, but..."

"But what?" he cut Haley off and imitated her as he finished her thought, "But you screwed up, Lucas. Cause if Peyton were here none of this would have happened."

"That's not what I was going to say, Lucas."

"You know what? It doesn't matter anymore." Lucas was tired of fighting. He was tired of trying to get them to understand. Despite what everyone thought, he could raise Lily on his own, just like how his mother raised him.

"Lucas, just listen..."

Lucas put his hand up, stopping Haley from continuing. "Look, I appreciate you coming over to help, but I don't think I need it anymore. I'll see you tomorrow."

Haley sat dumbfounded as she watched Lucas leave the room.

* * *

"Lils, please finish your dinner,"

The little girl shook her head 'no', evidently still upset with her older brother. Earlier, Lucas had coaxed her out of her room by cooking her favorite dinner. But that wasn't what got her to come out of her room. It was her hungry stomach that hadn't eaten all day.

"It's mac 'n cheese with extra cheese, your favorite," Lucas tried to persuade, "Come on, take a few more bites and then you can have your dessert. Double chocolate cake,"

The offer was very tempting now, especially since she had only eaten enough mac 'n cheese to keep her stomach sated. Lily could feel herself caving in for the chocolately sweetness.

"With sprinkles," Lucas knew his sister couldn't resist anymore. She had to talk to him now and she was about to when the doorbell rang.

"Finish up, Lils. I'll be right back," Lucas said with a charming smile. Ice cream was no longer his sister's weakness. Winning over his sister's heart now involved chocolate.

Halfway down the hall, Lucas saw the front door slowly start to open. He rolled his eyes suspecting that it was either Haley or Nathan coming over to check on Lily.

"Don't worry," Lucas said as he approached the door, "Everything is…"

It wasn't Nathan or Haley who stepped through the door and revealed themselves. It was "Peyton?"

She was furious and like a hurricane, there was no stopping her. Peyton pocketed her set of keys as she stalked towards him.

"Not coming back? Too busy to talk to Lily? Who the _**hell **_do you think you are telling Lily all that?" Peyton hissed at him while poking him in the chest.

Frightened, Lucas quickly backed away.

"You know if you want to be a coward and hide from me then fine! Run away or grow up and deal with it because I'm not going away. I'm not going to let you push me anymore, Luke. I promised Lily I'd be there for her and unlike you, I keep my promises."

He was speechless. All he could do was stare back at her fiery green eyes.

"What?" she wondered what he was staring at.

"Peyton?" Lily's voice rang out, her eyes widening with surprises. Her small feet carried her down the long hallway and into Peyton's waiting arms. "You came back!"

"Yeah. I told you I would. I'll always come back for you. I missed you, Lils,"

"I missed you too," the little girl beamed before turning around to look at her brother, "I told you she'd come back!" Lily boasted and stuck her tongue out at him.

The two girls finished dinner and dessert in the kitchen while Lucas secluded himself in the living room. He had no choice. Facing an angry Peyton was like facing a protective momma bear. You just don't. And you keep your distance.

But, occasionally his eyes would wander over towards the kitchen with the temptation of joining in on the fun and fits of giggles the two girls were having. In the past, Lucas would join in without hesitation but now it seemed that his presence would only put a stop to their joyous laughter. The past was a much simpler time. So much had changed in so little time. Karen was gone and now both Peyton and Lily hated him.

"You know your brother loves you very much." Peyton said as she tucked Lily into her bed.

Lily nodded slowly.

"I heard what you said to him earlier."

"I didn't mean it. I don't hate him. Honest. I just miss mommy. And I miss Lucas when he's funny."

"I know. Me too. He's just a little sad. We all are, but I think I know what can make him feel a bit better."

"What?"

"Tomorrow, when you get up, tell him how much you love him. I think he'd like that a lot. Do you think you can do that for me?"

Lily nodded.

"Good girl. Now I think it's time for bed."

"Peyton, can you stay and tell Lucas you love him with me tomorrow?" Lily asked, catching Peyton off guard.

"You know, I would love to, but I can't stay."

"Oh," Lily sat up, "Well what if we told him tonight?"

"Uh," Peyton stuttered in panic, "You know, Lils, it's getting late. Tomorrow would be better." she said as she quickly settled Lily back into bed.

"But…"

"Tomorrow," Peyton said more firmly. "Now close your eyes,"

"Promise?"

"Lily…"

"Promise?" she reiterated.

"Ok," Peyton caved, "I promise."

"Peyton. Wait, can you stay tonight, please?"

Peyton shook her head. It wasn't like before. Peyton wasn't Lucas's girlfriend anymore and she didn't have the open invitation to sleep over whenever she pleased. "How about just until you fall asleep, ok?"

Lily was disappointed, but it was better than nothing, "Kay."

Peyton smiled down at the little girl, "Goodnight, Lily Rose."

A short catnap later, Peyton's eyes fluttered open. The soft light coming from the Dora the Explorer night light casted a soft glow on the sleeping girl. Peyton realized that she had inadvertently dozed off by Lily's bedside. Before getting up, she tucked Lily back in under the comforter and placed a kiss a top her forehead. Quietly Peyton exited the room, closing the door behind her. As she made her way down the hallway, she could hear the faint voices of Ross and Rachel from Friends coming from the living room.

Lucas, stretched lazily across the couch, had his eyes closed and was breathing deeply. It was apparent that she wasn't the only one who had fallen asleep. Peyton couldn't help but smile at the sight. For the first time in a long time, Lucas looked peaceful. Peyton turned the television off. She reached across and gently covered his body with a throw blanket.

Her hand grazed his forearm. The soft touch was enough to scare him awake as his eyes flew open in terror and his hand instinctively grabbed her wrist.

"Luke," Peyton gasped, "I'm sorry, I didn't…"

Her voice trailed off as she saw the fear in his face disappear, revealing hurt and pain. His walls that he had built had disappeared.

Nothing more was said between them, but pleading in his eyes told her he wanted her to stay. Everything, but her heart, told her not to give in because it would be that much harder to deal with in the morning. The problem was her heart didn't care. It would deal with it. In the end her heart won.

Effortlessly, Peyton slipped under the covers and curled into his body. When her head lay comfortable on his shoulder, Lucas wrapped his arms around her small body. First she felt the tip of his nose graze the crown of her head. Peyton closed her eyes, savoring every second. Then she finally felt his soft lips touch the top of her head.

Even if it was only for a little while, she was home again.

Even if it was for just one night, he was healed.

Even if it was just for a few hours, they had found comfort with each other again.

And it was enough for them.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

_- __Sometimes that's just what we need to get us through the day __-_

From the moment she woke up, she knew what she had to do and she knew that it wasn't going to be easy. Lucas was no longer her main concern. Lily was. But the irony of it all was the only way to help her was to get through to him.

_They were at the Rivercourt. The sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was a perfect day. _

_Lucas picked up Lily and placed her safely on his shoulders. Lily laughed and shot the ball. The orange ball bounced around the rim before finally falling in. _

_"Lily Scott scores the winning basket!" Lucas yelled, running in celebration across the court. _

_Peyton, watching from the bleachers, laughed. Suddenly she stood up and walked towards them. Lucas lifted Lily off his shoulder and put her on the ground. _

_"It's time to go." Peyton announced, taking Lily by the hand. "Say goodbye to your brother."_

_"Bye, Lucas." Lily waved.  
_

_"Wait, where you going? Where you taking my sister?"_

_"You can't raise Lily by yourself." Peyton told him. "I'm taking her with me."  
_

_"No. I can. I can raise her." he pleaded. "Don't leave me."  
_

_"Bye Lucas." Peyton turned and began to walkaway with Lily. _

_Lucas tried with all his might to chase after them, but he couldn't. His legs were lead. "Peyton!" Lucas yelled, "Don't leave me. Don't take her away from me! Lily!"_

"Lily!" Lucas shot up.

He looked around in a panic. He was far from the Rivercourt. Lucas was alone in his living room. Tearing the blanket off of him, Lucas jumped off the couch and ran to Lily's bedroom.

"Lily?" Lucas called out.

Suddenly, Peyton emerged from the kitchen and stood between Lucas and Lily's door. His panicked appearance worried her. "Lucas. Hey, what's wrong?"

"I need to see Lily."

Brushing by Peyton, Lucas made it to the doorway and didn't like what he saw. The bed, dressed with Dora the Explorer sheets and comforter, was neatly made. Lily was no where in the room. She was gone.

"Where is she?" Lucas spun to face Peyton.

"Luke..."

"Where's Lily?" he demanded.

Peyton became frightened. "You were asleep and we didn't want to wake you."

"Where is my sister?!"

"Lucas, calm down. She wanted to see Jamie, so I took her over there. What's the big deal?"

"Big deal?" he was stunned by her passiveness. "You_ **took **_my little sister without my permission. Do you understand how worried I was when I didn't see her in her room?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't think..."

Her words weren't important to him and he didn't have to listen to her excuses. His main focus was on Lily and he needed to get her back. First, he needed to get changed.

Peyton was surprised when Lucas walked away and disappeared into this bedroom in the middle of their conversation. But if he thought that she would give up that easily, he was sorely mistaken.

"Look," Peyton appeared at the doorway. It didn't even phase her that Lucas was changing. She had seen it all before. "I just thought it'd be a good idea for Lily to spend some time with her cousin. Plus it'd give us a chance to talk."

Lucas finished pulling the shirt over his head, "See, I knew you were up to something. It's not about what Lily wants or what Lily needs. It's about what you want."

"What?"

"I told you that I didn't want you around anymore, but yet here you are."

The lies spinning in Lucas' head began to frustrate Peyton. The calm manner she used to talk to Lucas with was now gone. Peyton let her worry and concern turn to anger and let it out. "Will you open your God damn eyes, Luke? I'm here because of Lily. Not for me."

"Right, cause it kinda looks like you're here for me. I mean isn't that the real reason why you took Lily over to Haley's?"

"Am I here for you? Yeah, I am. But I'm not here to fight for you. You made it pretty clear that it's over between us and I just have to accept it. But I'm not going to accept what you're doing to Lily. She's just a kid."

"Lily's fine."

Peyton shook her head. Lily wasn't fine. And neither was he. "You don't see it, do you?"

"See what?"

"Lily's not happy."

"Of course she's not. She just lost her mother."

"Yeah, and she needs her brother to help her through it."

"You don't know what you're talking about. I am here."

"But like you told me: you're not the same person anymore."

Lucas didn't have a response, only a glaring pair of eyes that refused to let her get to him.

"And she misses that person: the one who used to take her to the park, the one who would laugh and play with her. Don't you see that Lily misses her brother?"

"Whatever." he muttered as he briskly walked passed her and out of the house to get his sister.

* * *

It was the first time in weeks that Lily was able to leave the house without her brother. She was able to run around and play with her cousin in his backyard. Lily felt like a kid without a care in the world again. But it didn't last long. The smile disappeared from her face when she heard her brother told her it was time to go home. Sadly but obediently Lily made her way back to the house where Lucas was waiting for her.

"But she wants to go swimming." Jamie ran past Lily and informed his uncle.

"Some other time, buddy." Lucas replied. "Come on, Lils."

Jamie stood beside his mother, pleading for her to do something, "Mama..."

"You and Lily can go swimming another time." Haley sighed with her hands tied. A confrontation with Lucas in front of the kids was the last thing they needed, "Say bye to your cousin."

"But..."

"Jamie." the young mother warned her son.

"Bye, Lily." he waved.

Lily barely let out a wave before she chased after her older brother.

"Lucas, wait for me." Lily called out as she ran as fast as she could to keep up with her brother.

Lucas slowed down and let his sister catch up to him. She reached up for his hand and held it as they continued to make their way to his car. Lily, taking giant steps to match her big brother's, watched the green grass move beneath her feet.

"I'm sorry."

Her voice was so soft that Lucas wasn't sure if he heard her correctly, "What?"

"I didn't mean to make you mad again."

Lucas stopped and finally looked at his sister, who kept her eyes on the ground.

"I don't really hate you, Lucas." Lily softly confessed, snapping Lucas out of his stupor.

Finally she timidly looked up at him, "I love you."

She loved him. After the way he had controlled and treated his sister, she still loved him. A small smile grew on his face and he scooped his sister into his arms. Something inside him stirred.

He leaned his forehead against hers and told her, "I love you, too, Lils."

Lily carefully inspected her brother. There was something missing in his smile. Then she noticed his eyes. "But you're still sad."

"What?"

"Peyton said that if I told you that I love you, you wouldn't be so sad anymore."

"She did, did she?"

"Yeah," Lily softly said.

_"Lily's not happy... she needs her brother to help her through it."_

He was beginning to understand what Peyton was saying.

"Well, do you know what makes me happy?"

"What?"

"Seeing you happy."

Without a word of warning, Lucas turned around and walked back towards the Scott's house.

"Where are we going now?" she asked.

"Well, you wanted to go for a swim, didn't you?"

Lily nodded with a smile that was a mile wide.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** I apologize right now for the long delay of this chapter. And I know it's been long because fanfiction has really changed its layout!

Anyways, I'm still not completely satisfied with this chapter, but this is one of the better copies I have for it. There is one more chapter, an epilogue, and probably my favorite chapter of this story, to this fic that will be posted very soon. Thanks for your patience.

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

_-_ _You're the one true thing I know I can believe_ _in-_

After an impromptu BBQ lunch, Peyton took it upon herself to clean up the mess on the patio. As she gathered the dirty plates, Peyton smiled at the laughter coming from Lily and Jamie who were being chased by Nathan around the yard. Occasionally she would sneak a peak at the three kids. It was a beautiful sight to see and would surly inspire a drawing or two later that evening.

"Peyton, why don't you have join them. I can clean up." Haley offered as she stepped outside onto the patio.

Somewhat startled, Peyton looked back at Haley and picked up another plate, "I don't mind cleaning up, Hales. Besides, it's the least I can do for letting me stay here for the past few days."

"Please, Peyton. You know you're welcome here. Besides it's nice to have another girl around. It kinda balances the testosterone around here."

"So you wouldn't mind if I stayed another night? I kinda get lonely in my house."

"Of course. And hey," Haley took the pile of dishes from Peyton's hands and set them back down onto the table. "Why don't we just sit and enjoy the afternoon for a bit? We'll clean up later."

Peyton shrugged, "Sounds good to me."

She sat down on one of the patio chairs facing the yard. Haley took a seat beside the blonde just in time to see Jamie grab Nathan's hands.

"Get him!" Jamie yelled between fits of giggles.

Lily charged Nathan with arms outstretched to tickle him. They all laughed at a squirming Nathan who playfully fell to the ground in defeat. Jamie seized the opportunity to belly flop, wrestling style, onto his father. Nathan writhed in fake pain. Lily laughed so hard she fell to the ground. Her laugh was so pure and innocent. Nothing but happiness sang from the little Scott.

"It's so good to hear her laugh like that again."Haley commented.

"Yeah, it is." Peyton agreed.

"You know, Lucas will come around too."

"Yeah, I hope so."

"Peyton, I know that you have been beyond patient with him, but I think he just needs a bit more time to get back to normal. I mean look at how long it took him to fix things with Lily."

"I know. But it's just so frustrating. And it hurts, especially when he can't even be in the same aisle as me."

"Huh? Aisle?"

"I saw him at the grocery store the other day. I was in the middle of the snack aisle when I happened to look up and there he was. He took two steps, saw me, turned and walked away."

"No, I can't believe him."

Peyton, staring off into the yard, nodded. "Then I realized that it's not just in grocery aisles. It's here too. I mean has he ever stayed more than five minutes when he drops off or picks up Lily?"

Haley started to realize the pattern. She had always asked Lucas to come in or stay for dinner, but Lucas always declined, claiming that he had errands to run. Never once had she thought about Peyton's presence being the reason for his actions.

"I'm sorry, Peyton. I never realized…"

"It's not your fault, Haley. I just wish I knew what I did wrong. I mean did I push too hard? Does he really not want me in Lily's life?"

"Well, if that's the case, then too bad. Peyton, you're great with Lily and she loves you. And I know Karen wouldn't have it any other way."

"Thanks, Haley."

"Last one in the pool is a rotten egg!" Nathan exclaimed as he ran past the girls with Jamie hot on his heels.

"Whoa, slow down." Haley called out to her boys. "I swear, I couldn't tell you who's the bigger kid. Jamie or Nathan? Oh snap. Jamie's trunks are in the washer. I better find him another pair to swim in."

Haley jumped up from her chair and chased after her boys. Peyton stood up and waited for a trailing Lily to catch up.

"We're going swimming!" Lily exclaimed as Peyton scooped her up into her arms.

"You are?!?" Peyton replied with just as much enthusiasm.

"Uh-huh. You should too!"

"Um, how about next time?"

"Aw, you always say that."

"I know. I'm sorry, Lils. But definitely next time."

"Promise?"

"I promise." Peyton sighed. She never was a fan of the water but she couldn't resist those pleading puppy dog eyes that Lily shared with her brother.

Lily raised both arms in the air. "Yay!"

"Alright, Lils," Peyton placed Lily back down onto the ground, "Go inside and get changed. Just yell if you need help."

Lily nodded her head and started to scamper towards the house. Halfway there, she stopped in the tracks and her face lit up. Her day was getting better and better.

"Lucas! You're here!"

Peyton's eyes snapped up from the little girl to Lucas who was leaning against the door frame. In a frozen state, she watched Lucas crouch down to his sister's level.

"Yeah, I was driving by and thought that maybe I'd take you and Jamie to the park but then I heard that you were going swimming. And since I know how much you love swimming, I thought that we could go for some ice cream after your swim instead. How does that sound?"

"Really awesome!" Lily jumped up and down.

"Alright." Lucas held his hand out that Lily excitedly high fived.

"Can you swim too?"

His now wrinkled, "Maybe next time. I didn't bring my swimming shorts."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Yay! Peyton promised too."

He took a moment to give Peyton an awkward smile.

"Now we all can play waterball against Uncle Nathan. He's really good."

"He is, is he? Well, we'll have to see about that." Lucas joked.

"Lucas, can you help me find my swim bag?"

Lucas stole a glance at Peyton before nodding to his sister. "Yeah, I can do that."

* * *

From the lounge chair Lucas watched his sister splash around in the pool with Jamie and Nathan. He never realized how much he missed seeing the smile that lit up Lily's face until now.

"You know, it wouldn't hurt if you smiled." Haley commented as she sat down beside her best friend.

Lucas offered a small smile making it apparent that there was something on his mind.

"Where's Peyton?"

"Oh, she just had some errands to run."

It was apparent by Haley's poor attempt of being nonchalant that she was lying. Peyton didn't have errands to run. She just figured that by leaving it would save an argument in front of the kids.

"I haven't been myself lately, have I?"

"Not exactly. But you've been through a lot lately."

"I'm sorry."

"I just miss my mom so much, Hales."

"I know. Me too."

Haley wiped the few tears that escaped from her eyes. Lucas put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a half hug. The two best friends fell into a comfortable silence while they leaned on each other for support.

In the pool Nathan snuck behind his son and tossed him out of the water and into the air. Jamie's eyes shot open with surprise before letting out a jovial scream and splashing into the water again. Lily laughed uncontrollably.

"Look at her, Luke. She's happy, isn't she?"

"Yeah, she is."

"So now that we've established that Lily is happy now, what about you?"

Lucas shrugged, "I'm happy as long as Lily is happy."

"So avoiding Peyton makes you happy too?"

Lucas stiffened, "I'm not avoiding her. She's avoiding me."

"Oh, so then that wasn't you Peyton saw at the grocery store the other day? You know, the one who couldn't stand being in the same aisle as her?"

He shut his eyes, just like he did when he saw Peyton at the store. "She saw me."

"Lucas." she smacked his arm. "How could you? It's not only rude, but you really hurt her."

"I didn't mean to. Look, it was just once. I swear. But it's just..."

"What is it, Luke?"

"When I saw her, I just froze. I didn't know what to say or how to act. The things I've said to her the past couple of weeks...I know that I've really hurt her and I can't just take take it all back."

"Well you can start with an apology."

Lucas wondered if an apology would even be enough. "You know, I just don't get it. After the way I've treated her, how can she still want anything to do with me?"

"That's the thing about love. When you love someone, you don't hold whatever they say or do against them. You find a way to forgive them."

"Even if I don't deserve it?"

"Everybody deserves to be loved, Lucas. You especially." Haley reached for her friend's hand, "You've sacrificed so much for you mom and for Lily. And I really think that Karen would be proud of you for the way are with Lily. You love her, protect her and would do _anything_ just to see her smile. And I think that if Karen was still here, she'd do the same thing for you too."

Haley offered Lucas another hug, who more than willingly took his friend's support.

"Mama!" Jamie yelled from the pool. "Jump in!"

Haley sat up and looked at Lucas, "What do you say?"

"Yeah, you too, Uncle Luke!" Jamie splashed.

"Yeah, come on Lucas! Just jump in like that." Lily encouraged her brother, but Luke politely declined.

"Next time." he replied to the kids, then turned to Haley, "Can you do me a favour?"

"Anything."

"Can you watch Lily for a while? I have something to do."

"Yeah sure." Haley nodded, "And if you happen to see Peyton tell her that we're having a pool party and her invite is still good."

Lucas rolled his eyes.

"Just be happy, Luke."

* * *

In that exact spot she was sitting in, she had told him, "_It's not gonna matter whether I stay or go with us because I'm gonna love you forever, Lucas Scott,"_

Blissful. Happy. Sad. Anger. Regretful. Even in any emotion or any mood, those seven words – I'm gonna love you forever, Lucas Scott – would always be the haunting truth.

Peyton sat on the cold concrete bench, blankly staring at the water gushing out of the fountain. Wiping her fallen tears from her face, Peyton swore to herself that she would never cry over Lucas Scott again. Then she laughed at herself, knowing that it wasn't going to happen because Peyton Sawyer's heart would always belong to him, no matter what.

"Feeling sentimental?"

The sound of his voice frightened her in more ways than one. She wasn't expecting company, let alone Lucas'. And yet there he was. She didn't turn around to face him. Instead, Peyton heard his soft footsteps approach her. Lucas' movements were slow and cautious, especially when he sat down beside her.

The awkward tension that sat between them kept them both silent. He seemed to be lost in the memory of their past while she seemed to be lost and scared in the present.

When he finally mustered the courage to open his mouth, only her voice was heard.

"What are you doing here, Luke?"

"I was…um," he stuttered like a shy teenage boy talking to his crush for the first time, "I don't know."

It wasn't the answer she was hoping for. Peyton swallowed the lump forming in her throat and stood up. There was nothing left for her to say and the last thing she wanted to do was to start another pointless fight with him.

"I should go."

No more than three steps were taken when Lucas finally spoke up,

"I was looking for you."

He never realized how bad things had gotten between them, but he was glad she wasn't facing him. It just seemed easier to talk without having a pair of judging eyes looking back at you.**  
**

"I looked all over town for you - your house, the bridge, the Rivercourt, the beach."

Peyton turned around. Her guard was clearly up. "Why would I go to those places?"

"Probably the same reason why you're here. They're places that mean a lot to me. And it's where I go when I miss you,"

Damn him, she thought. Peyton hated the fact that he knew her well and the vulnerability that came with getting involved with Lucas Scott. There was only one way Peyton knew of that let her hide the heart she wore on her sleeve and that was to put up her brooding poker face. She crossed her arms against her chest and chewed on her bottom lip, keeping quiet. Protecting her heart trumped letting Lucas back in so easily.

"You know, I keep having this dream. Nightmare, really."

He was there to fight either. It was becoming clear that he wanted to talk. As Lucas spoke, Peyton made her way back to the stone bench and sat beside him.

"I'm at the Rivercourt with you and Lily. We're just goofing off, having fun and we're just...just so happy. But then suddenly you take Lily by the hand and you both disappear and I'm all alone. Then I wake up and for a split second, I tell myself it's just a dream - that it's all been a dream and my mom is really in the kitchen getting breakfast ready.

"But when I realize that she's not coming back... it's like I lose her all over again. And I have no one but Lily left."

There were too many tears for him to suppress. With gentle care, Peyton shifted closer to him and held him.

"It's gonna go be alright, Luke." she soothed.

When his tears ran dry a few minutes later, Lucas abruptly sat up. He wiped the moisture from his face with the palm of his hands.

"Sorry." he said. "I don't mean to keep crying on you."

"It's OK, Lucas. You don't have to apologize."

"It's ironic, you know," Lucas laughed nervously. "You try to do the right thing – be the good guy everyone makes you out to be - but in the end, it ends up being the wrong thing – and I turned out to be the ass who lost everything,"

"You're right. You are an ass, Lucas. But not in the way you think. You haven't lost everything. You still have Nathan and Haley. And most importantly, Lily is still here,"

"And what about you?"

"I'm here for you, Luke. Always. You know that, but…"

"But you also have a life. I know. And I don't want to tie you down here with me,"

"Lucas…" Peyton tried to interrupt to tell him that he had it all wrong.

"No, let me finish." Lucas insisted, "Before, I didn't want to be that selfish guy and make you stay with me. And I didn't want you to look back years from now and regret staying. But last night, it was the first time since my mom died where I actually slept _through_ the night. Most nights I'd wake up in a cold sweat worried about how Lily is going to grow up without knowing mom. Other nights I'd lie awake wondering where you were. If you were even OK.

"But I get it now - I haven't been the brother Lily needed. Or the friend Haley needed. Or even the guy you needed me to be. So if I need to be that selfish guy for Lily's sake, then so be it. Because I don't know how to do this; how to raise Lily; how to get through life without my mom. I need help, Peyton. I need you. I need you in my life."

On the verge of happy tears, Peyton took his hand and brought it to her lips, kissing it. "I'm right here, Luke. I'm not going anywhere."

Lucas pulled Peyton towards his body and held her tight. He kissed her forehead before resting his head against hers. Whispering in her ears, "Good because I'm gonna love you forever, Peyton Sawyer."

* * *

**A/N: **If you read my other stories... I also apologize for not updating lately. I have no excuse, other than I just haven't been writing. I'm determined, however, to finish the ones I have posted by the end of the year (with the exception of _A Senior Year to Remember_ just because I accidentally deleted my file for it and I'm too bummed/lazy to rewrite all of it). _Destiny_ is near complete... I just don't have an ending I'm completely satisfied with yet and that has under gone a few rewrites already.

And lastly, I just want to let you know I really do appreciate the feedback and pm's I've receieved for my fics. Thank you.


	11. Chapter 11

**Epilogue**

- _You're all the things that I desire: you save me, you complete me_ -

* * *

At the crack of dawn, Peyton Sawyer woke up in her own bed, in her own house. Everyone who knew her, knew that she wasn't a morning person. So what was she doing up so early?

Simple.

It was Lily's first day of school and Peyton wanted to do something special for her. Without hesitation and bit of excitement, the curly blonde got out of bed and got ready to start the day.

Before leaving the house, Peyton grabbed the bag of groceries from the kitchen table. She got into her black convertible and drove the short distance to Lucas and Lily's house. Getting out of the car, with groceries in hand, Peyton made her way up the porch steps, with the set of keys Lucas had given her months ago. Ever so quiet, so not to wake the sleeping occupants, Peyton slipped into the house and got to work.

The smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies wafted from the kitchen, down the hallway and into Lucas' bedroom. The familiar scent, a scent he never thought he'd smell again, woke him from his slumber and into a state of confusion. The aroma of melted chocolate mixed with the right amount of vanilla reminded Lucas of his old childhood when he would come home after school to find his mother baking him his favorite after school snack.

_Ding!_

"They're done!" Lily, always the first Scott to rise, exclaimed excitedly from the kitchen table. "Can I have one now?"

"They're for you to snack on at school." Peyton explained but as she reached for the oven mitts, she caught Lily's puppy dog eyes, "But since its your first day of school and you finished all your breakfast, I guess you can have one. **_After_** you finish getting dressed for school."

"Aww. Do I have to go to school?" Lily pouted.

"Now come on, Lils. Those eyes may have gotten you a bonus cookie, but they're not going to get you out of school. Trust me, I've tried."

"But..."

"No, buts, Lily Rose. Now go change, otherwise you'll be late and won't have time to eat your cookie."

"Oh alright." Lily gave in.

As Lily's bedroom door closed, Lucas emerged from his with a yawning stretch. The smell of freshly baked cookies became stronger and more enticing as he made his way to the kitchen. From the doorway, Lucas stood and watched Peyton carefully removed a tray of golden brown chocolate chip cookies from the oven.

"It's a good thing I used up all the salt last night." Lucas smirked.

Peyton raised a brow. "Well it's a good thing that Mrs. Johnson from next door let me borrow a _pinch_ of hers." She set the hot tray on the counter. Reaching across the counter, Peyton picked up an already cooled cookie and walked towards him. "Otherwise, you my dear, wouldn't get your favorite snack."

As Lucas opened his mouth to say something, Peyton placed a sample in his mouth. He shut his eyes as he chewed, expecting to tasty a salty cookie. To his pleasant surprise, the cookie that Peyton had baked was delicious. Too delicious for something Peyton to make.

"You like?"

With one arm, he pulled her body into his. Bringing his lips closer to hers, he mumbled, "Mmm, I like."

Peyton let him have one quick kiss, before laughing and slapping him playfully against his chest. The space between them was enough to let him take another bite of the cookie.

"OK... you did not make this." The familiar taste the he missed brought back some old memories.

Peyton held up her hands, "See these two hands covered with chocolaty chip goodness? They made them."

"They taste like how mom used to make them. How did you..."

"Come, sit." Peyton pulled him over to the kitchen table. "Do you remember the party your mom threw for us before we started college?"

Lucas nodded.

"Well, earlier in the day, I stopped by the cafe to see if she needed any help. And that's when she taught me her recipe."

Peyton slid a piece of paper across the table. It was a guest check from the cafe. Lucas picked up and recognized the handwriting on the bill. It was his mother's. He had thought that he would never be able to eat another one of his mother's chocolate chip cookie again, but yet he was holding her recipe in his hands. Lucas let his eyes trace over his mother's handwriting.

"I actually forgot that I had it. But the other day, I was looking for a special snack for Lily's first day of school at the bakery and when I saw the chocolate chip cookies, I remembered. And I thought that maybe if I made Karen's recipe for Lily, Karen could really be a part of Lily's first day of school."

He was a loss for words. The thoughtfulness of Peyton overwhelmed him.

"I was also thinking that maybe we could frame it and save it for Lily for when she grows up."

"Yeah. That's... Peyton, thank you."

"Come on," Peyton reached for his hands, "Let's get Lily to school."

"Hey, wait." he pulled her towards him again. "I love you."

Peyton's heart melted, the same way it did every time he told her that. "I love you, too."

* * *

"Alright, kiddo. You ready?" Lucas asked.

Lily shyly shook her head. "I'm scared,"

"Aw, Lils, there's nothing to be afraid of,"

"He's right, Lils."

Lucas and Lily looked up to see Peyton walking to towards them. She crouched down to Lily's eye level, "There's going to be lots of kids your age to play with and be friends with. And I met your teacher, Mrs. Leyland, she's really nice,"

"But you're not going to be there. Neither is Lucas,"

"No, we won't be, but you know what? On my first day of school, I was scared too,"

"You were?"

"Uh-huh. And you know what my mom and dad said? They said, Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, you're too special to be hiding at home. It's time the world got to know Peyton Sawyer. And I'm going to say the same thing to you. Cause its true Lily Rose Scott. It's time to show the world how special you are,"

Lucas knelt down, placing one hand on Peyton's back and taking Lily's hand in the other, "She's right, Lily. But I know you're still scared. So how about this; after Peyton and I drop you off, we'll wait outside for twenty minutes. If you don't want to stay, then all you have to do is come out and we'll try again tomorrow."

"Promise?"

"Yeah, we promise."

They waited thirty minutes outside of Tree Hill Elementary.

"She's not coming out." Peyton said in a sad voice.

"No, she's not," Lucas replied with equal sadness.

"I'm so proud of her, Luke. She's just grown up so fast…"

As Peyton spoke, Lucas couldn't help but to stare at her with wonderment. He was one lucky guy to have a girl like her. Even in his darkest hour, she had been his light. She had helped him heal A girl like Peyton Sawyer who was totally in love with you and loved your family like it were own was rare to come by.

"Luke? Are you listening?"

"What are we doing?"

She furrowed how brow, wondering if it were a trick question, "Umm...making sure Lily's OK?"

A second passed before Lucas started to get out of the car.

"Whoa, wait. Lucas. You can't go in there and get her." She yelled, as he walked around the front of the car. Instead of crossing the street, Lucas walked up to the door and crouched to her leve.

"I'm not going in there, Peyton." he said with a chuckle. "I just... I have go do something. Meet me back at the house in an hour."

He leaned in for a kiss before taking off, leaving Peyton dumbfounded.

"What the heck just happened?" she said to herself, watching Lucas run off.

* * *

Lucas bounded up the front steps, digging out his keys. Before sliding the right key in the lock, he took a deep breath to calm his pounding heart.

"Lucas Scott." Peyton stalked up to him just as he shut the door behind him. "Mind telling me what that was all about this morning? You kind a freaked me out."

The way she worried for nothing was cute. He didn't mean to worry her, though.

"Peyt?"

"Yeah, Luke?"

"How'd you get in here?"

"With your keys. Remember, you gave me a set." Peyton spoke slowly. "Lucas are you feeling OK?"

Ignoring her question, Lucas asked, "Can I see them?"

Peyton slipped her hand into her pocket and pulled out her set of keys. "Why? Is something wrong? Do you want them back?"

She was scared of his answer, wondering if Peyton had overstepped some sort of invisible boundary.

Thankfully, he shook his head, but took them anyways. Peyton watched with curiosity as Lucas inspected the keys, one by one. Finally, he held on up, "What's this key for?"

"Um, for your front door,"

He held up another key, "And this one?"

"For your bedroom door."

"Don't you find that a little strange?"

"Umm...not since you gave them to me," she shifted uncomfortably, still trying to figure out what he was getting at, "You do remember, right?"

"Yeah, I remember. I just think that it's strange that you've you got all the keys to my house and yet you don't live in it. I think we should change that."

"So you do want your keys back?"

Lucas laughed and shook his head. He then took her hand and held the keys out, just above her open palm, "Peyton Sawyer, will you move in with me?"

"Wha..."

Too stunned to answer or to take the keys on her own, Lucas gently placed the keys onto her palm and closed her fingers around them for her. "I mean you practically live here anyways. You're there all day and night - not that I don't want you around - cause I do and so does Lily," Lucas nervously rambled, "But it's just that you have the keys and you do everything but sleep here - well occasionally you sleep over," he smirked. "And I love those mornings when I wake up with you next to me. It's how I want to start my days for the rest of my life."

If Peyton wasn't surprised already, she was now. Lucas fell to one knee and held out a small velvet box with a small diamond engagement ring in it.

"I'm not just asking you to move in with me. Peyton Sawyer will you help me raise Lily and marry me?"

The keys fell from her hands with a loud crash when it hit the floor. Her hands clasped together and she held them just in front of her of her face as if she were trying to hide her shock. Another second passed, allowing her to process his question again. Slowly, as if she were thawing out from a frozen state, Peyton began to nod. Nodding faster, she found her voice. It was soft and barely audible, "Yes."

Lucas had to be sure, "Yes?"

"YES!"

Getting back up to his feet, Lucas clasped he arms around her slender waist and picked her up. A warm, tender feeling spread from his heart and throughout his body. His mind repeated her answer as his feet spun them around.

"You're stuck with me, Lucas Scott." She said, bringing her lips down to his.

"Wouldn't want it any other way." he said against her lips.

* * *

**A/N: **Finally done! Thanks to everyone who read this story...especially those who took the time to leave a comment.


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